Thursday, November 29, 2007

A great, big Wilhelm scream

Have you ever wondered what your reaction would be if an intruder snuck up behind you while you were preparing dinner and suddenly grabbed you?

Well, I got to find out yesterday when my husband did exactly that.

I was in the kitchen, calmly chopping celery and preparing dinner. Jeremy was on campus, and not due home for a little while still (or so I thought). Miriam was sitting on the counter "helping," as always (which means I was trying very hard not to chop her fingers off as she grabbed at stray celery pieces). She was facing me and I was facing her, with my back to the rest of the house. Meanwhile, the microwave was defrosting some meat and the washer and dryer (right next to the kitchen area) were both going.

Suddenly, someone was grabbing me from behind. I screamed and jumped and almost choked on the piece of celery that was in my mouth. It's a good thing I happened to not be holding the knife at that particular moment. Almost immediately, I realized that it was just Jeremy, but it took me a few minutes to calm down.

In his defense, he said that he thought I had heard him come in (through the backyard, opening the security door, hanging up his bike, etc.). But of course I hadn't, because of all the noise in the kitchen.

Even though that was extremely terrifying, I think it still was not quite as scary as the only other scary prank Jeremy has played on me.

First, you must understand that I hate spiders and have a completely irrational fear of them.

When we were living in a basement in American Fork, we occasionally found spiders in sundry corners of the house. Of course, it was usually Jeremy's job to dispatch them. But one night, he was busy studying and he casually told me that he saw a small spider in the bathroom and he wanted me to take care of it. After quite a bit of protesting from me, I naively headed off to the bathroom, armed with a tissue.

I didn't see the spider, so I asked Jeremy where exactly it was. He told me that it was probably on or under the bathmat. I decided to scare it out by lifting up the bathmat very quickly.

Well, I lifted up the bathmat in one quick motion, and suddenly, there was a huge swarm of spiders scurrying everywhere. I was so scared that I ran screaming out of the bathroom.

After Jeremy calmed me down enough to talk to me, he told me that they were fake spiders, and he had planted them there on purpose to scare me. I went over to look, and sure enough, there were dozens of small plastic spiders lying motionless on the floor. They had only looked like they were moving earlier because I had lifted up the bathmat so quickly.

He's never done anything like that again. What can I say? He learns his lessons well.


The Ensign's said...

Chad did something like that to me once. I wasn't expecting him home and one day I thought I had heard the garage door open. I tried to convince myself I was hearing things and everything was fine. Then I heard our door open from the garage to the house. I was sooooo scared (that's one of my worst fears). I slowly walked out into the living room expecting to see an intruder when I saw Chad. I just bursted into tears. He then asked me what I was gonna do if it wasn't him. I told him I was gonna asked what they were doing in my house and to get out. What was I thinking? Chad now calls me when he plans to be home earlier.

Anonymous said...

Job well done (in both instances), Jeremy.

Crissy Bear said...

My uncle came up behind my mother one time in the kitchen while she was washing dishes. He grabbed her sides to tickle her. She slammed her elbows down and broke two of his fingers. You have to be careful when you sneak up behind other people :)

Bridget said...

That's the thing. I would like to think I would have been a lot more assertive to an intruder than just jumping and screaming. But that's what happened.

My mom always told me a story of some lady who was, um, going to the bathroom when some strange guy walked into her house and into her bathroom. She just calmly looked at him and said, "Can't you see I'm busy?" He was so surprised by her reaction that he left. Why can't I think of something like that?

Shannan said...

Okay, your post reminds me of that Friends episode where Rachel and Phoebe hide behind the curtains to scare Ross and when they do, he runs screaming like a girl from teh house. I want to say that I if anyone sneaks up on me, I get in the defensive stance, but I'm not sure if I really would in a true emergency/someone is trying to get me. I pray I never find out!

~~~ said...

I have a hard time forgiving Gary when he startles me, even if it's an accident. My heart races and my skin tingles long after. I HATE being snuck up on (just can't figure a way to word that without using the "word" "snuck.") Sorry.



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