Saturday, August 30, 2008

Bright young women, sick of swimmin',


...ready to staaaaaaaaaand!

Miriam's favorite movie is The Little Mermaid, though I don't know that there ever really was much of a contest because the only other kid movies we own are King Cole's Party and Finding Nemo. Still, it's not a bad choice - I think it's one of my favorite movies, too, at least in the category of Disney animated films.

But when you've watched a movie approximately 25,000 times, you start to notice little plot holes.

For example, when Ariel and Flounder go to visit Scuttle and he's looking at them through the wrong end of the telescope (or whatever that thing is called; hi, I edit the dictionary), they are clearly surrounded on all sides by ocean. When he puts it down, however, Ariel and Flounder are obviously right up against the little rock. Where was that rock in the far-away telescope view, huh??

Also, when you're about to be turned back into a mermaid because your prince didn't kiss you, and the sun is setting, and you're in that prince's arms, just kiss. This is not a time for explanations, it is a time for kissing.

And then, when your father comes up to the surface and you try to explain why the witch owns your soul, "Daddy, I didn't mean to" is not only an inadequate response, it is a lie.

The worst one of all is when King Triton trades himself to Ursula in exchange for his daughter's freedom. Stupidest. Strategic move. Ever. Now, instead of just control over Ariel's soul, Ursula reigns supreme. In her own words: "Now I am the ruler of all the ocean! The waves obey my every whim!"

Finally, I absolutely love the song "Part of Your World." But what is with the line, "and they don't reprimand their daughters." I never could figure out what word she was saying there, and now that I know it's "reprimand," I don't know that it makes any more sense than before.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who is slowly going insane from being subjected to glaring logical fallacies in the plots of animated children's movies. Please.

And really, what is that telescope thing called?

10 comments:

Aimee said...

"Betcha on land, they understand, that you don't reprimand their daughters." I always took it as a 16-year old imagining what she wanted her dad to be like. Kinda like when a teen says to a parent: I am the ONLY kid that isn't allowed to do _______. (insert said activity). However, I completely agree with you, but I suppose I am just playing the devil's advocate.

Aimee said...

oops, thats suppose to be "Betcha on land they understand, that you don't reprimand YOUR daughters." I think, its just from memory at the moment.

Suzanne Bubnash said...

A spyglass?

Bridget said...

Yes! That's it. You'd think I would know that since the neighborhood across the street from mine (growing up) was called "Spyglass." Even if the letters were usually rearranged to spell something else.

I guess my problem with "reprimand" is just that it doesn't seem to fit. Like the lyricists just chose it for the number of syllables it had, or something.

Liz Johnson said...

I deeply love "The Little Mermaid," but I have to admit that she is one of the brattier Disney princesses. 'Wah, I'm too good for the ocean.' I bet she didn't eat her peas either.

Lindsay said...

The Little Mermaid is obviously the best Disney movie ever - despite all it's faults, which I too have noticed. My sisters and I used to have the entire movie memorized, and would recite it for my mother every time we took the two hour drive to Provo. I bet she loved that!

Jeanerbee said...

Repeatedly watching kids movies drives me insane too! Around here thankfully the only one Eli religiously watches is "cars" - for some reason this one doesn't annoy me too bad. Maybe it's the lack of semi-clad princesses, or the fact that the characters don't sing. I don't know, lol. I think the old beat up truck named Mater is actually funny, though I do wonder if he is going to teach Eli bad grammar. And have you noticed sometimes Disney puts in little semi-naughty jokes/references that only adults would get? What's up with that?? Example - Lighting: "Did you know Doc won 3 Piston cups?" Mater: "He did WHAT in his cup?!" There's one in Nemo that's even worse ...

Kristen said...

I believe the actual lyric is "bet" which fits with "Bethca on land they understand. Bet they don't reprimand their daughters." She's dreaming of a world where she wouldn't be controlled by her father. And I consider myself an authority on the subject because I used to rollerskate around my garage and sing every word of this song, pretending to be a mermaid underwater. Yeah. So there.

Bridget said...

That makes SO much more sense! I'm not even being sarcastic. It really does.

Kristen said...

And are you enjoying the mental image of 8-year-old me in roller skates belting out these passionate lyrics? Yeah, me neither.

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