Saturday, August 30, 2008
Bright young women, sick of swimmin',
...ready to staaaaaaaaaand!
Miriam's favorite movie is The Little Mermaid, though I don't know that there ever really was much of a contest because the only other kid movies we own are King Cole's Party and Finding Nemo. Still, it's not a bad choice - I think it's one of my favorite movies, too, at least in the category of Disney animated films.
But when you've watched a movie approximately 25,000 times, you start to notice little plot holes.
For example, when Ariel and Flounder go to visit Scuttle and he's looking at them through the wrong end of the telescope (or whatever that thing is called; hi, I edit the dictionary), they are clearly surrounded on all sides by ocean. When he puts it down, however, Ariel and Flounder are obviously right up against the little rock. Where was that rock in the far-away telescope view, huh??
Also, when you're about to be turned back into a mermaid because your prince didn't kiss you, and the sun is setting, and you're in that prince's arms, just kiss. This is not a time for explanations, it is a time for kissing.
And then, when your father comes up to the surface and you try to explain why the witch owns your soul, "Daddy, I didn't mean to" is not only an inadequate response, it is a lie.
The worst one of all is when King Triton trades himself to Ursula in exchange for his daughter's freedom. Stupidest. Strategic move. Ever. Now, instead of just control over Ariel's soul, Ursula reigns supreme. In her own words: "Now I am the ruler of all the ocean! The waves obey my every whim!"
Finally, I absolutely love the song "Part of Your World." But what is with the line, "and they don't reprimand their daughters." I never could figure out what word she was saying there, and now that I know it's "reprimand," I don't know that it makes any more sense than before.
Please tell me I'm not the only one who is slowly going insane from being subjected to glaring logical fallacies in the plots of animated children's movies. Please.
And really, what is that telescope thing called?