Sunday, November 09, 2008

Return to sender, someday

While we were in Middlebury this summer, some friends of ours were in charge of collecting our mail for us. When we got back, there was one mysterious item in the huge stack of weekly (now vintage) Fry's ads and helpful doctor appointment reminder notices: a package addressed to Josh Perkins.

There is no such person living with us, of course. When I took a look at the address, I noticed that it was a few numbers off of ours, but it indicated a house that doesn't exist. Why the mail carrier delivered it anyway, I'll never know. Perhaps because it came from Canada, or because the sender spelled Tucson wrong (Tuscon), so what's one (or two) more errors?

The problem is, this package has been sitting in our house ever since then, gathering dust. I just don't know what to do with it. The sensible thing would have been to take it to the post office as soon as we got back from Middlebury, since it shows a mailing date of June 21 and plenty of time had already passed with it stagnating in our house over the summer. But we were busy re-establishing our lives, and the new life of little Magdalena, and it just didn't happen.

Now it's November, and with each day that passes, it's going to be more and more embarrassing to bring the package into the post office and do whatever needs to be done with it.

If the fact that it's taken almost five months to return this package to the sender isn't bad enough, there's the added humiliation of what it looks like now. Somehow, Miriam got a hold of it and scribbled on it, and also punched a pen tip through the paper a few times.


So if Josh Perkins ever gets his package, I hope he doesn't mind the shape that it's in.

If anyone has any great ideas for excuses I can give the post office employee when I finally get around to taking in this package, let me know.

9 comments:

ThomasCL said...

Hey. I think I figured it out for you. I am pretty sure it was being mailed here. Ha.

Kristen said...

Can't you just pretend you've been in Middlebury all this time and just returned to discover the package? The scribbling could have occured in the backseat of your car on the way to the post office to dutifully return the package immediately. Perfect, no?

Lilianne and Jason Wright said...

Hello - it's called "I have a NEWBORN." Isn't that reason enough? Lois is enough deterrent for me and you have one plus a toddler! I'd play the busy mom card for sure!

The Ensign's said...

This story is cracking me up! This is too funny. Good luck!

Nancy Heiss said...

:) That's awesome, Bridget!

I think Kristen has a great story there. I'd go with that one.

Or you could just tell the postman what you told us. "I was away for the summer. Sorry it took so long to get it to you--I've been dealing with a brand new baby."

The brand new baby thing works a lot. I still try to use it but Rachel's obviously not brand new anymore so it doesn't work so well. Shoot!

Bridget said...

Chris, I really hope you did not know that off the top of your head. Please tell me you had to Google that.

Kristen, your idea is genius except to pull that off, we'd have to go to a different post office branch. They know us too well at our local one.

I'll probably end up using some combination of Lili and Nancy's ideas.

Shannan said...

We moved into this house a year ago. About two months after we moved in, a package arrived for the former owners. And it was a large envelope with several heavy things in it. The return address was a soccer association or something. Anyway, I didn't feel like spending the time and money to forward the package to the formers owners, so I just stuck it on a shelf in the garage hoping that maybe they would visit one day and I could give it to them. One year later, I discovered it and just threw it away.

The point of my story is that I kind of relate to your story - kind of.

Bridget said...

Shannan, that makes me feel SO much better!!

I have to ask, though - did you open it before you threw it away?

Suzanne Bubnash said...

Briefly (haha), here's how I dealt w/ a recent piece of mistakenly sent mail (prepare for a surprise ending){and if I had a baby in the house the letter would have sat inert on my desk for a year): a bulky letter arrived here addressed to a stranger (John Butchko) who has never lived at my address. My sixth sense could tell it was a genealogy letter because I've sent/ received hundreds of them. Checked phone book/internet for a JB who might live in my area--zip. Checked internet for phone number of sender--Bernadette G. from CA--bingo. Called Bernadette to notify her of her mistake. BG had no idea how she managed to address a letter to JB to my house. Out of curiosity I asked about her family background relative to JB's background, thinking that the name Butchko is Ruthenian, and therefore of interest to me (also Ruthenian). Zip--she thought they were from Idaho. She said to toss the letter & we hung up.

But dang, this Butchko name intrigued me so I opened it up. Copies of documents inside show-- drum roll please--it appears that Bernadette's gr-gr grandmother, Mary Bubnash (who married a Butchko), is the sister of my gr-grandfather! I had never been able to trace Mary, and here she was, sitting in the letter I was holding. And, they lived in Stockett, MT, not Idaho as BG said; Stockett is where a bunch of Bubnashes settled circa 1890.

Happy ending!

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