Friday, December 05, 2008

We kid because we love

Did anyone else get a look at what Kristin Stewart wore to one of the Twilight premieres? Anyone?

I really don't remember where I saw it. I didn't go looking for it, if that's what you're thinking. But I did see it, and I'll show you what it looked like in a moment.

But first, when I saw it, I wondered if the ladies from GFY would get a hold of it, and they did. And what they said about it is pretty much the funniest Twilight parody I've read yet, and I include Eric D. Snider's version in that assessment.

"So, after careful consideration of approximately three minutes, I've decided Twilight would work a lot better for me on ice. Think about it: Pairs figure skating, much like the book itself, is all about melodrama, separation and reunion, and invading each others' personal space in a sexually unsatisfying way. All of Edward's condescending yearning and stalking would be way more fun if he were doing it while flitting about the rink in puffy shirts and tight trousers, tossing off triple Axels of romantic angst and throwing Bella into the air before catching her with one hand (subtext: "You must not love me BUT I LOVE YOU but stay away BUT NOT TOO FAR AWAY let me stare at you NO I MUSTN'T but I will LET ME TOE-LOOP MY FEELINGS don't look at me EXCEPT DO I am dangerous TIME TO SPARKLE"). Meanwhile, boring Bella, who in the text generally just repeats herself ad nauseum about how Edward's face/chest/voice/muscles/eyes/lips/piano talent/strength/secret macrame projects are more beautiful and perfect than anything in the human realm, could spend the rest of the time enacting a metaphor for her inner monologue by spinning over and over again until Edward rescues her from herself. Throw in some multicolored spotlights and the whole thing is practically begging for an Olympic ice-skating duo to reinterpret it at the Vancouver 2010 games.

Apparently Kristen Stewart is way ahead of me on this."
They also made fun of some of the Twilight movie posters a while back. Somewhere in one of those posts, they (I think it's two women, and I don't know which one it was) confessed that they actually did like the books, but still felt compelled to mock them. That's a phenomenon I've seen time and time again with the Twilight series: even people who profess to hate them still read them all, sometimes compulsively. There's something unusual in that, and I hope that someday, someone other than me does some research to substantiate my casual observation.

Anyway, this is just another example of how it's OK to make fun of something you love, as long as you're accurate and hilarious about it.

6 comments:

Liz Johnson said...

Hahahahaha. I haven't even read the books but I think that's hilarious. LET ME TOE-LOOP MY FEELINGS! I will have to use that in casual conversation sometime soon.

Fromagette said...

I don't know, Bridget. I really enjoyed Eric's screenplay. I kept waking my baby up while I laughed. In any case, thanks for the laughs!

Robinsonfamily said...

I had not seen that picture before. Thanks for the laughs.

Suzanne Bubnash said...

I had seen photos of KS taken at several different publicity events, and every single time what she wore was all wrong for her. This 'streetwalker' look is the worst. Her wardrobe assistant should be shot.

In reading the books I found it necessary to skip over the many parts where Bella praised Edward's perfection--it was nauseating. A friend said, 'if she talks once more about Edward's chest I'm gonna hurl.' But then, my age group was not the author's intended audience, and obviously that audience ate it up.

Jeremy Palmer said...

80s glam rock band...wearing a trash bag.

Kristen said...

HA HA HA!!!!! I'll just see the pair skate interpretation instead of reading the series. Sounds like I'll get the gist just fine.

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