Tuesday, October 06, 2009

So this is what 28 looks like

I turned 28 yesterday. The big 3-0 is closer than ever, and I'm slowly coming to terms with it. Somehow, for the last ten years or so, I've been able to ignore or forget the fact that I am getting older. It's as if I left for college at age 17 and have hovered in my late teens/early twenties ever since. I could probably go on believing I'm still 21, too, if it weren't for all those dang people around me getting older. Moving to Ithaca and getting to know the new crop of PhD wives, I feel like I'm still the same age as they are. Then I remember that although, like them, I was 23 when Jeremy started his doctorate program, that was four years ago.

Some scary thoughts:

-I am now the same age my mom was when she had me (actually a couple days older).

-Life events that I remember really well - starting high school, running in my first cross-country season, going to Alaska, etc. - are all half a lifetime away. As in, as much time has passed between then and now as passed between then and the day I was born.

-Other major life events happened a whole decade ago. Ten years! Where has the time gone? It feels like two or three years since I started college, NOT ten.

-I am undeniably an adult now. Those other responsible, grown-up parents of Miriam's preschool classmates, the ones who seem to have life all figured out and organized and in control? They are probably my age. Some of them may even be younger.

The good thing is that I think I'm holding up pretty well. I haven't noticed any grey hairs yet. My skin seems to be doing OK, but if I looked any closer I might be able to convince myself that some wrinkles are starting to appear (but I still get zits sometimes, so what's up with that?). My body doesn't stand up as well to random strain like it used to - no more bending and stooping to empty the dishwasher while holding a baby. I did that a few months ago and ended up pulling a muscle in my abdomen pretty badly. Something like that would have never happened when I was 21 (if for no other reason than because I didn't have a baby back then).

This is what 28 looks like on me, after an hour in the bath BY MYSELF, hallelujah, thank you Jeremy. I don't think anyone would mistake me for a 12-year-old anymore. And that's fine with me - but I wouldn't mind being taken for a 19- or 20-year-old, especially since that's how old I feel inside.

What is your "internal age" - how old do you think you are, in your mind, before you stop to count the years?

Bonus: enjoy the first few moments of this episode of The Simpsons, and the wisdom of Bart on turning 10 years old. Also enjoy this post, on a similar subject.


Susanne said...

Glad you enjoyed a nice birthday bath! :-) You look great!

Liz Johnson said...

You look fantastic. Ahhhh a solitary bath. What a luxury! :)

I feel 25. That's what I automatically think when somebody asks me how old I am. And when I realize that I'm actually 28, I have to double-check to make sure that's accurate. Thirty in two years? Really? Huh.

Maybe I'll feel more grown up after we're out of school. Maybe.

Amanda said...

For a long time, I felt 24. Even before I was 24, I felt 24. Now that I've got 2 kids and my own washer and dryer, I'll believe I'm 25, but no more. And, I don't think I realized Tyler was older than you (only by slightly less than 2 months). I make fun of him all the time for being so old but at the same time, it feels like he's the same age as me, so does that make me older, or him younger? I'm not sure.

Bridget said...

That's the weird thing. Jeremy is 33 and I feel like HE's not old. And I do feel like we're the same age. So I'm not sure what to make of all that.

Lindsay said...

I turn thirty next year, and I have to say, it feels pretty weird. Also - I have found two gray hairs already - TWO!

The Ensign's said...

I use to feel 21. I now feel 23. I'm slowly excepting getting older.

BTW- You look great! You have nothing to worry about.

Nancy said...

Happy Birthday.

I've pondered this a long time; it's bothered me for years. I think I was 17 when I realized that there aren't answers to everything, even if you look really hard.

And I don't think anyone ever really grows up.

Perhaps it's our spirits living in the eternities, so our bodies are getting older physically but we're only making small progressions spiritually. I don't know...everything's but a small moment, you know?

Anna said...

I have found the occasional white hair ever since I got married three years ago (coincidence? I think not). I also don't feel 28. I don't really know what age I do feel, though. Sometimes I feel about 23 which I think is because that is the age I always assumed I would be when I had a one year old baby. But sometimes I feel very middle aged. I often feel about forty five. Twenty eight seems a weird age to me and one that maybe I should have just skipped.

I'm glad you had a nice, long bath. :)

Britney said...

I still feel 20 on most days. Sometimes, though, when I'm around Twilight reading moms (of which I am not), I feel about 40.

I noticed in your comment you mentioned that Jeremy is 33. Funny. My husband (Jeremy) is 33 also. What a name that must've been in '76.

Crys said...

I tell Jason he is old all the time...thanks the fact that he is three years older than me. I've been telling him he is old since he was 24...now I'm going to turn 29...so I guess I'm really old. We laugh all the time about how we used to think our parents were so old and now we are their age :) Happy B-day! Congrats on the bath!

Mikael said...

Happy BIRTHDAY!!! I feel like I am 24. I really do feel older than 19 or 20 (well, I was a nerd then). I feel like I am more solid with life, but I certainly DONT feel 28!
You look amazing, and I would mistake you for 20 still.

Eevi said...

I love the bathrobe picture and I'm glad you got to relax on your birthday. You look fabulous. I feel like I am mature in many ways so I feel my age(24); however, in many social situations I still feel like a young 20 old girl. I don't know if that made any sense.

Lu&Moo said...

Alright, I think I look all of my 27 years, and it's been a long time since someone mistook me for being a lot younger than I am. BUT yesterday, two adults came to my work and they made a comment that, "what, you can't be more than 17..." and they were highway patrolmen. And they were serious. (they thought I went to high school in my town!) I was shocked. Surely policemen are better judges of age than that!

Amber said...

Isn't it funny how we can already notice signs of aging in our bodies? I don't think I realized that it would happen so soon. I was just saying the other day that I wish I could have known and recognized when I hit my peak of health - but I'm not even sure I could pinpoint now when it was. However, I do know that I can no longer pull all-nighters, and my body doesn't recover from stress like it used to either. Sadly, it's likely only downhill from here!

Jeanerbee said...

I actually don't mind 25. And that's the number that's stuck in my brain! Honestly when people ask how old I am I have to think about it... I actually forgot a while ago and thought I was turning 30 THIS year! I had a mild panic attack until my husband reminded me I'm a year YOUNGER than him. Wow. That's crazy to totally lose track of your own age....

Anyway, I think you look great! 20 for sure!


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