Now, I'm not a big fan of using "no one ever told me I'd have to [unpleasant task]" as an excuse for begging off of being a good mom. But sometimes, there really ARE things that no one ever told me I'd have to do. If I'd known ahead of time about digging poo out of a toddler's bum, would it have been a deal-breaker? Hard to say. Here are a few others.
No one ever told me that, in order to preserve the sanctity of my 4-year-old's potty experiences at automatic-flush public toilets, I'd have to stand there with my hand over the flush sensor so it doesn't inadvertently flush while she's still on the potty and frighten her out of her wits.
No one ever told me that sometimes, while taking a shower with my kids, there is a definite possibility of stepping on a turd.
No one ever told me that not only would I often have an audience while taking care of my own bathroom business, but that I would sometimes have to narrate said business, especially for a just-potty-trained 2-year-old. And sometimes all this would take place in a public restroom. Yeah, that's pretty much when you just stay in your stall until everyone else has left the bathroom so you have a chance of escaping public humiliation.
No one ever told me that I'd be asked the question, "Mom, can you come look at my poo-poos and tell me if it's diarrhea?"
What did I miss? I would have said that no one ever told me I'd have to clean poo off my walls, but I haven't had to do that yet. Also, people DID tell me about that one.