Friday, February 26, 2010

Flashback Friday: My first makeup memory

Flashback Friday lives on for another week!

You know my sad, inexperienced history with makeup. Perhaps this story is where it all began.

Sixth grade, 1993ish, Oak Hills Elementary School: my fellow 11- and 12-year-olds and I were weighed down with heavy concerns, such as, which class had ended up with the best outdoor portable? (none of us - the fifth-graders did.) What was the code word we had decided on if one of the girls started her period and needed to discreetly obtain a feminine product? ("envelope.") And what on earth was our class t-shirt slogan going to be, seeing that "class of two thousand" rhymed with approximately nothing? (I never found out the answer to this one. But 1999 ended up with "Last of the century, end of the line, we're the class of '99," which has its own problems.)

Meanwhile, on the home front, my mom had recently cleaned out her makeup collection and passed on the usable dregs to my sister and me to use as play makeup. Or something. It mostly just sat in its case in our bathroom cabinet, but one morning before school I got curious and pulled it out. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, I was applying bright pink eyeshadow to my eyelids. Now, at that age, a lot of girls probably knew how to correctly and effectively apply makeup. As you may have guessed, um, I was not one of those girls.


I think I was interrupted at some point during my clandestine makeup application so I never got a chance to give myself a once-over in the mirror before going to school. I'm sure I thought I looked great.

School was going swimmingly until recess, when in a freak occurrence that still strikes me as being exceptionally unlikely, a boy the next large kickball field over threw a rock out of his way and it flew all the way over to my kickball field and hit me in the chest. Seriously! I fell down on the ground and everything. Some of my friends helped me over to the nurse's office where I lay down for a while to recuperate. I was a newly diagnosed stress/excercise asthmatic at the time, so although the rock hadn't done much physical damage, I was having trouble catching my breath.

Eventually, it was time to go back to class. A couple of my friends came to walk me back from the nurse's office and one of them said something like, "hey Bridget, all around one of your eyes is like, super pink." Immediately, I knew that she was talking about that eye shadow I had put on. Also immediately, I realized I must have applied it unevenly, mostly only on one eye. My little 11-year-old self was mortified.

So I tried to pass it off on what had just happened - "Oh, my face must just be splotchy from crying when that rock hit me," I said.

This must have been a really good friend because she was brutally honest (and perceptive) when she replied, "Uh, no, it actually looks like you just put pink eye shadow on one eye."

Busted! You better believe I headed straight to the bathroom after that and scrubbed my face as best I could. The worst part of this story is that the day was mostly over at that point so I had spent hours and hours of it with bright pink eye shadow applied all over exactly ONE of my eyes.

Yes, I think that explains a lot about my uneven (ha) history with makeup. Quite a lot, indeed.

15 comments:

Liz Johnson said...

Awwww this sounds like something that could have easily happened to me. Sixth grade was AWKWARD. I'm so sorry. This does explain why you waited another 15ish years to try it again. :)

Katie said...

Haha! Saaad! But please know that I'm laughing with you, not at you. I still have no idea what to do with make up, really. I stick primarily to mascara... on my "fancy" days.

I had quite a bit more make up on (well, a regular amount for most people, I guess) on our wedding day so I wouldn't completely wash out in our pictures. Well, we were really lame and didn't print off a single picture of our wedding until this past Christmas (two years after our wedding) and now there's one 4 by 6 picture of Bryan and me on our wedding day sitting in a frame next to our phone in the living room. This has brought about three experiences that I feel relate to the subject at hand.

1. A member of our Relief Society presidency was over at my apartment for a meeting a week or so ago, saw the picture, and said something like, "Katie! You look beautiful! Why don't you ever wear makeup?" She said it in a nice voice and she's a nice person, so I'm sure she MEANT it nice, but... perhaps it wasn't? Haha.

2. I currently have the unique experience of having one of my ex-boyfriends from high school living right across from me in married student housing right now. We all get along really well, actually, and I love his wife, so there's no problem, but there's also no denying that we all know each other. A couple of weeks ago they were over playing games and he noticed the picture and said, "Who's that?" He wanted to know why we had a picture of somebody else's wedding up in our living room. ...

3. Finally, my sister lives downstairs from me (right underneath the ex-boyfriend) and one day her little boy came up to visit. He saw the picture and upon seeing Bryan in it immediately exclaimed, "Uncle B!" Bryan then pointed to me and asked him who it was and he didn't know. Thank you, dear two-year-old nephew.

Anyway, please know that you have some company in the makeup-brings-me-more-humiliation-than-praise club.

Katie said...

Also, I should have said this in the first place, but obviously somebody else did my make up for me for my wedding day.

Katie said...

And I know that I have totally overstayed my commenting welcome now, but I just wanted to add, last of all (I promise) that it was definitely middle school dance team and years of being in high school plays that turned me off entirely to make up. My eyes still water uncontrollably at the sight of eye liner.

Jennifer said...

I don't know about you, but some of the most distinctive memories from my childhood are those where I was totally embarrassed...I guess they just really leave an impression. :)

I'm surprised no one has asked yet...why did your mom even have hot pink eye shadow to pass on to you?? At least that means that she didn't use it much herself?

Love this story!

Bridget said...

Katie, that really made me laugh. Thank you for sharing. It makes me feel better to have a fellow makeup novice out there, if you don't mind me calling you that.

Jennifer, YES, I wondered the same thing about the hand-me-down eye shadow. What was my mom doing with pink eye shadow to begin with?!?

Liz, doesn't it though?

Heidi Williams said...

oh god, you just brought that time in my life rushing right back...

I remember a time when, like you - my mom had handed down some old Avon. I decided one day to apply some lovely brown shadow. I tried my best and emerged from the bathroom nervous & self conscious. As I was putting my backpack on - my mom looked at me and said "You have more eye shadow on your right eye than your left." GEE THANKS!! In a panic i ran to the bathroom and tried to fix it, then gave up and washed my face, halfway into that process my mom started yelling "The bus is here, the bus is here!" - So there I was freaking out and now LATE for the bus. I'll never forget how traumatic that seemed at the time and I still give my mom crap for being so insensitive!

Suzanne Bubnash said...

Ha-ha, that wasn't MY pink eye-shadow. Or maybe it was mine, but only because it came in a sample pack that Meier & Frank used to give out if you bought something else, and it sat in my drawer untouched. The samples were always weird like orangey lipstick, pink eye-shadow or brown / purple blush. Stuff a professional clown (or a grade-school girl) would wear.

I wear blush every day so I don't look like a cadaver & on fancy days, some brownish eye-shadow. Anything more than that is too much trouble . . . take me as I am, folks.

Crys said...

Oh ouch! That story was painful to read...you just knew it was going to end badly. I have makeup issues as well. I'd like to blame my mother who still doesn't know how to wear makeup well...just look at pictures from my sisters wedding...wow that green eye shadow is SCARY! I have this picture from Halloween one year where she did my makeup...and I was suppose to look pretty. Oh boy! Every Sunday though I suffer through and get some stuff on my face. If I don't the ward starts buzzing about how "tired" I look. The polite way of saying I look like a warn out piece of pooh...or someone with a terminal illness. I think I need more sleep :) I've considered making some effort to learn to do makeup well but then I think, it is to easy to go to far and end up with fake tan look and makeup all over your kids or hubby. No thanks! So I guess I'll just stay my washed out self :)

Janae Ensign said...

I wanna know what you guys were doing talking about your periods in 5TH GRADE???? I didn't even get mine until maybe 7th/8th grade (maybe that's why I was deprived a nice "rack").


oh and I was expecting a good story from your mom as to why she let you out of the house looking like that, but I'm sure she's a smart mom and thought you'd learn a better lesson this way =)

Bridget said...

Janae, it may have been a little early, but I distinctly remember the (female) teacher deciding and telling us girls that "envelope" was the password to obtain a product if we needed one unexpectedly. I don't know if anyone ever actually used it...

Lisa Lou said...

I must have experimented with eye-liner the same day as when I got a new passport picture. I've always loved makeup. Too bad I look like such a floozy in my passport that I currently use! Also, at Katie's wedding - my makeup was used to do her touchups...she did not look like a floozy, fortunately.

sarah said...

heehee :) i was cringing as i read! good post

Kat Clark said...

Totally cracking up. Sometime I'll have to recount the day in the sixth grade when my friend made me call my mom for a bra. That was good, thanks.

Kristen said...

Actually it was "last of the line" not "end of the line," which is slightly less problematic, don't you think?

I had totally forgotten about the "envelope" password, but that does seem very familiar.

I love that your friend just totally called you out on your lie about the pink eye--although she probably had no clue you were knowingly covering for your shame.

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