Monday, April 04, 2011

What do the contents of my purse say about me?

The General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was held over the weekend. One of the speakers told a story about a lost purse. The people who found it went through it looking for identification, but along the way, they learned some neat things about the owner. You can watch Elder Quentin L. Cook tell the story from 3:48 - 6:10 in the video below.

It got me thinking. What do the contents of my purse say about me? If someone found my misplaced purse in a totally innocuous context and had to go through it to determine who I was, what else would they learn along the way?

They'd see that Magdalena didn't finish eating her peanut butter and honey sandwich. Actually, I guess they would assume it was my unfinished sandwich. Fair enough. Honey is disgusting to me, after all, so I doubt I could get through much more of the sandwich than this.

They'd probably figure out at this point that I have one or more children. But since there's no cutesy diaper/wipe clutch, they might also figure out that my children are potty trained...

...but that I never assume anything, since also in my purse is a spare plastic bag with a pair of size 2T panties inside.

This might confuse them. It confuses me, to be honest. I am constantly finding random, tiny pieces of kid hud scattered throughout my purse. It drives me crazy. How, and when, and WHY, does it get there?? I corralled it all into one spot in this photo for your convenience. The chapstick, on the other hand, was legitimately mine until I sacrificed it as an offering to Magdalena to appease her during some recent errand.

Ah, the wallet. At this point they would find out my identity, and perhaps also that I am officially a housewife by profession.

But let's pretend they kept on looking.

An atypically brief grocery list written on the back of an envelope.

A map of Dubai Mall. If they were smart, they would snatch that up. Shockingly, the largest mall in the world is a bit of a labyrinth.

A notebook that looks professional and grown-up...until you open it and see that it has been wholly commandeered by Miriam.

A very smashed Nutri-Grain bar. Mmmmmm.

At least they'd see that I like to read...and check out DVDs from the library for my kids to watch.

Random odds and ends from the side pocket. If the person going through my purse lived in the UAE, they'd know exactly why I kept that one dirham in my purse - for shopping cart deposits, of course!

And here comes the trash. Woah.

What do the contents of your purse say about you?


Liz Johnson said...

I was laughing my head off during that part of the talk. Oh man, if somebody went through my purse, they would probably assume that I lived out of my car, because it's been waaaaaay too long since I cleaned it out. The trash pile would be obscene. They'd probably think I'm a janitor, because I carry around approximately 300 keys (and yet I insist that they're all vitally important). Also that I'm bald, because I have all sorts of hair ties with gobs of hair in them (thank you, post-pregnancy hair loss). It's a disgusting sight.

Crys said...

So essentially what your purse says about you is that you need a trash can? Haha! That talk also made me laugh, especially since my wallet is overflowing with receipts. So I guess my wallet says I shop to much and I need a trash can :)

Jennifer said...

So the lady he's quoting is in my ward! If you looked in my purse, you'd find too many loose fishy crackers/crumbs hanging out at the bottom. I enjoyed going through your purse step by step.

Matthew said...

I'm rather curious to see the outside of this purse. I'm guessing it is on the large side...

Bridget said...

It's really not that big. Downsizing the purse is one of my favorite parts of babies growing up into tiny children. Still, you can still shove a lot of stuff into a small purse.

(It's this one, by the way, and I love it.)

Susanne said...

Cash shows that I prefer to use cash over credit/debit cards.

Coupons show that I like to save money whenever I can.

No toys shows that I have no children.

Cute post!

Suzanne Bubnash said...

No children at home means I can use a very small purse. It contains my wallet, phone, checkbook, small digital camera, pens, chapstick, tiny measuring tape, small pad of paper, spare phone battery. And trash--old receipts and miscellanous ick.

A distasteful childhood memory pertaining to my mom and her purse: if we were away from home and my nose needed wiping, she never seemed to have a fresh kleenex. She would dig into the bottom of her purse, then pull out a gross used, tightly wadded up kleenex and 'unpeel' it, then use it on me. I learned to hide my nose problem by discreetly wiping it on my clothes.


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