Saturday, May 05, 2012

Let's commiserate

My youngest brother is getting married today. You may remember him from such posts as My brother, the Twilight extra. He and what seems like everyone but me is gathered in Oregon today to celebrate. And I am feeling sad.

Obviously, moving overseas was a purposeful, happy decision for us. It's not like some people think, that we don't care about our extended family, or that we don't mind being far away from them. Of course we care. Of course we mind. Of course we wish we saw one another more often, especially at times like these - weddings, births, graduations, or just 'cuz. And I know we're not the only ones missing out. A lot of your extended family's life happens when you're far away, whether it's 8000 miles or 1000 miles or 200 miles. (Any less than 200 miles...umm, what's your excuse for missing major family events?!? Hahahahaha.)

Since we moved to the UAE, we've missed no fewer than FOUR births of nieces and nephews. When I meet my niece Shiloh sometime in July, for the very first time, she will be 20 months old.

I missed my sister's wedding in 2008. I missed Jeremy's sister's wedding in 2005. I missed Jeremy's brother's wedding in 2010. I've never been to a niece or nephew's baptism. Except for my very first niece, I've never been there to see a brother or sister's (or in-law's) baby anywhere near the time of birth. I've never been to anyone's graduation - heck, I even missed my own (I was in Russia when it happened).

I'm sad I'm not at my littlest brother's wedding. Sometimes it gets old, missing things.

Let's commiserate. What major extended family events have you missed (especially due to extreme distance) that you want to pout about now?

PS - Congratulations, Steven and Kristi! I know you don't really care that I'm not there, and I mean that in the best possible way.

14 comments:

Jessie said...

We missed my sister-in-law's wedding, but that was because she got married on the exact same day as my sister (her wedding was announced first, and she lived closer).

Sorry about you missing your brother's wedding :(

breanne said...

I feel some of your pain. I was in Jerusalem in 2007 when my youngest sister got baptized. Then I was on my mission in Taiwan when 1-my youngest brother was baptized, 2-my older sister got engaged and married, 3-my just-younger sister got engaged and married, 4-my older sister had her first child, 5-my just-younger sister had her first child, and 5-my older brother, married for 5 years, had his first child. I was only gone for 18 months, people! Then I was home for a whole year and nothing happened. I moved to Washington DC 4 days before my first niece was born (1.5 weeks late--and I was staying at their house for two weeks before I left so I could be there for the birth!). 3 days after I moved to Jerusalem my second niece was born, and then a few months later my just-younger sister's second son was born.

But at least I'm their favorite skype aunt...

Nancy said...

I grew up in British Columbia (my dad's family lived in Utah and my mom's family lived in Alberta...with a few relatives sprinkled elsewhere). So we missed a lot. And, frankly, people missed most of our stuff, too.

But let's see...what have I, personally, missed?

The birth of two nieces and two of my nephews (not a bad track record, actually).
My sister's wedding in 2009.
My dad's graduation in 2010.
Multiple blessings and baptisms.
Multiple family reunions.

I can't think of what else...but I'm sure there are others and we're gearing up for missing a whole lot more since we'll be moving 2000+ miles from home. :D

Sorry you aren't there for your brother's wedding. That's a real bummer.

One of my sisters couldn't come to my wedding (she lives 900 miles away but didn't have a passport at the time so couldn't cross the border if she had wanted to) and I know we were both a little sad about that. *sigh* And one of the reasons Andrew and I got married when we did was so that my brother could be there (he moved to Brazil in January and we left for Jordan in April before he got back and since my dad couldn't come to my wedding either I *really* wanted my brother there).

Anyway...have a good (as you can) weekend! :D

Kathy Haynie said...

I've been thinking of you today! Was the wedding at the Portland Temple? Mark and I and our son (from out of town - Wisconsin) went there today and ended up getting invited to our neighbor's sealing - how random was that?! Anyway, I kept watching to see if I recognized your brother or his cute sweetheart or your mom from the picture next to her comments. I was going to say, "Are you Bridget's (mom/brother/etc.)? I read her blog!" But I didn't recognize anyone...anyway, I wanted you to know I tried. :)

Susanne said...

I don't think I've missed anything, but I've never lived far from home. My grandmother missed her father's funeral because she was in Africa at the time.

Congrats to your brother and his wife! Getting married on both Cinco de Mayo *and* the day of the night of the super-full moon is pretty cool!

Jennifer said...

I missed the birth of a niece by a month and my grandpa's funeral while I was on my mission. I've actually never been to the blessing of any of Jeff or my nieces or nephews--his family is so spread out there's just no way! However, compared to Breanne, Nancy, and you, that's nothing!

I know my parents were going to the reception tonight. I'm sad for you that you had to miss this special day.

Sherwood family said...

I missed my sister-in-law's wedding (the first wedding on either side since we got married) - and we were actually in the US! She decided to get married two days after Joseph was born, so neither of us made it.

Brandon and I made an agreement, however, that when a sibling gets married, the other person will watch the children so the sibling can go. I keep telling my brother to get married so that I can enjoy a few airline flights all to myself!

Ariana said...

I grew up in MN, my mom's family was mostly in Utah, and my dad's family was all in Brasil. You name it, we missed it. Nobody ever came for our "stuff" (birthdays, baptisms, anything) either, because let's face it, the roads only go one way (TO Utah) if your family is all Mormon. We were in MN for 14 years, and we had family visitors maybe 4 times. We trekked to Utah almost every summer to visit family...and then, in typical Utah Mormon fashion, they were so busy with their own lives that they still missed hanging out with us.

Bridget said...

Kathy, you are a dear for keeping an eye out for my family. But you wouldn't have seen them in Portland since the wedding was in Helvetia. I wish I wish I wish you could have seen them. That would have been awesome!

Shari said...

Oh! I'm so sorry you had to miss your brother's wedding! I feel like I've done enough complaining on my blog, but I agree that it stinks to have to miss so many important family events (or have them miss yours). Kate turns 8 this summer. Can you believe it? I felt bad that nobody would be there (plus most of the ward, including all of Kate's friends, will be in the States over the summer), but we JUST found out that Jon's sister will be visiting us around that time. We're SO happy!

Kristen said...

When my 17-year-old cousin was killed in a car crash a few years ago, his older brother was on a mission in Seattle and did not fly home to Utah for the funeral. That makes me sad, even though it isn't my story. Be grateful you haven't had to miss an event like that (meaning that there haven't been any to miss!)

Craig said...

The view from the other side: We all missed you very much. It was a wonderful day, with so many people helping with the events, and so many well wishers at the open house, and some family members traveling from great distances. There was never any question that it was impractical for you to come, but we did think of you.

Thank goodness for email, blogs, and video chats, to keep you all close in so many ways.

Jennifer said...

Ariana, don't get me started on that "all roads are one way to Utah, but even when you come we're still in the middle of our busy life" phenomenon! We did that with my mom's side of the family all growing up too!

Crys said...

As your most faithful blog stalker :)it is weird to me that Stephen is getting married. In my mind I put him in the capsule of "That kid who was in Twilight." Figured he'd stay 17 forever :) I missed four funerals this year. Jason made it to one but it was just too expensive or we just couldn't get away for any of the other three. Not that funerals are like a wedding...but it still makes me sad. I missed all the births of three new half siblings, found out about them after they were a few months old, thanks non communicative dad. I've missed most of the holidays and this year my mom's shot gun wedding. On the flip side my family has missed most of our big events. We went to Utah to bless two of our kids, but the other two were blessed in Illinois and only a few people were able to make it. They've missed all the births and with Captain E getting baptized this year I don't think we'll even have enough people to fill two rows in the primary room. My family will see my kids and then not see them again for a year. When you are a baby a lot happens there...they miss first steps and first teeth, first lose teeth, first days of school, first words. When we go home to visit there are always a few days were my kids won't really talk or look at anyone as they are warming up again. I'm happy with my life. The house is great, we live in a great place for the kids, Jason is doing what he needs to do, but the times I get the saddest generally aren't around big events, but instead when I randomly call home on a Sunday and find the house full of all my siblings. I can hear them laughing and fighting in the background, food being cooked, kids and dogs running around, definitely puts a little downer on my bliss :)

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