Monday, July 22, 2013


The other day I had an epiphany of sorts.

I tagged along with my parents and attended a casual group dinner event at Your Home-based Mom's house. I also made the salad we had been assigned to bring. I decided to make fattoush (Lebanese Salad) because it would be different, and because I knew I wouldn't mess it up because I make it all the time at home.

Not messing up the food dish was important to me because YHBM is, like, FAMOUS. I felt so nervous to be bringing my lame, humble food for her (and the guests) to eat. I also kind of felt self-conscious about what I was wearing because she has a fantastic sense of fashion (as does her daughter).

So I spent a while before the dinner being nervous about the food, and my clothes, and the judgment that YHBM was sure to pass on me...and then I realized how ridiculous I was being. I'm sure, so sure, that the wonderful woman who is YHBM does not spend every waking hour "on the job," scrutinizing friends' recipes and passers'-by outfits. So I took a deep breath and relaxed and made the fattoush how I always do and wore what I wanted to.

The epiphany I mentioned earlier came when I finally understood how it is that some people mention to me (in person or by email) that they're "afraid" (or hesitant) to comment on my blog, or write an email to me because they're worried that their grammar isn't perfect. This has always at once surprised me and made me feel horrible. I promise that as snarky as I sometimes (unintentionally) get about grammar or word choice or baby names or spelling, I do not pass judgment on friends OR strangers who communicate with me, in any form, whether earnestly or casually. I do not sit at my computer just waiting to catch out mistakes as they enter my Gmail inbox. Really. I'm sure I've not always maintained the distinction perfectly, but I try to reserve scorn of poor English for the most egregious cases in the most inexcusable contexts. Blog comments and personal emails will never, ever fit that bill.



Kathy Haynie said...

Two of the women who serve with me in the Young Women's organization at church recently told me that they are nervous to send me emails - they said they always reread them 3 times before sending to check the spelling. I was dumbfounded. I know exactly what you mean, Bridget.

Suzanne Bubnash said...

I get what you're saying Bridget. We all need to relax, don't we? I used to be self-conscious about my clutzie earthy clod-i-ness around the refined people in my life, including my Mom. And then I discovered that some of those refined people really appreciated our differences. For example, my friend C. takes cruises and fancy vacations and fits in graciously every where she goes. But she would die before spending 2 weeks camping out in a tent in the rain, ala me, and sincerely admires that, and even vicariously lives through my experience. We must be ourselves!

Crys said...

I wish that I could reach a point where I was so comfortable with myself that I never second guessed how others saw me. Haven't gotten there yet...someday...

Liz Johnson said...

This post kind of makes me want to comment with all sorts of egregious grammatical errors, just for fun.

But I won't. Not on purpose, anyway. :)


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