Sunday, September 15, 2013

38.5


I'm 38.5 weeks. Are we at the point yet where if I don't blog for a few days, then everyone assumes I've gone into labor? I think so.

Really, it's not as bad as it could be, being massively, almost-due pregnant. I'm trying to remind myself that to a point - 41 weeks or so, which is technically a week overdue - the longer he stays in, the better. Miriam was born 11 days early after an lengthy induction since my water leaked but I never went into labor. She had horrible jaundice and had to be re-admitted when she was just a few days old. She was very lethargic and had trouble nursing for the first little while. It was almost as if she, oh I don't know, wasn't ready to be born.

Contrast that with Magdalena, born on her due date, who was my little chub baby at 8lbs 7oz. She came into the world READY. Ready to nurse, ready to grow, ready to be here. It was hard to wait all 40 weeks, but it was so much easier in the end to have a baby who came when she was ready.

So even though I'm technically at the "any day now" stage, I'm trying to keep myself content with being pregnant for a little longer. Only about 2.5 weeks longer, in fact - much like in the US, standard practice here is to look into induction methods after 41 weeks. As part of my bid to increase my patience and acceptance of a timeline that is not fully my own, I am trying to smile while putting up with:

- increasingly bad sleep. Waking up three times to go pee is normal. Waking up to a series of contractions (whether real or false) is normal. Waking up to heave myself and my pillows into a different position on the bed is normal.

- heartburn. Pretty much, I get heartburn from drinking water now.

- joint pain. My hips hurt so bad when I first get up from sitting or lying down and I have to hobble around like an old woman for a few minutes.

- weight gain/skin stretching. The human body is amazing, but seriously, how much bigger can my belly get and how long until my skin gives up stretching over it?

- clothes that don't fit me. I am never comfortable in what I'm wearing anymore. Never. If I were to find something comfortable, it would probably be so heinous-looking that those around me would avert their eyes in horror.

- uncertainty regarding my short-term thesis timeline. I will defend this semester for sure, but should I jump in to heavy-duty analysis right now? Or am I going to have this baby tomorrow so any serious thinking I do today will be wasted?

- well-meaning inquiries from friends and neighbors who haven't seen me for a while. Sometimes a "how are you doing?" query can come across like thinly veiled "woah, I thought you would have had that baby already!". It's a Catch-22 because part of me wants to say, "yep, I'm due any day now!" But the other part of me realizes that in 2 weeks, I might see that person again, and I might still have not had this baby. Sigh.

One thing I am pretty sure I am not going to have to deal with anymore as a pregnant woman is church, aka my least favorite place to be (in a social sense) after about 30 weeks. I've reached the tipping point where I would be happier to return to church in a few weeks with a tiny infant wrapped to the outside of my body than to continue to attend in my current huge state. Look, church is three hours long, and I have trouble sitting still for 10 minutes, even, but anyway I work in the Primary class with almost 40 children who sometimes act like rabid squirrels so I'm on my feet a lot, expending energy I don't have, and it's just too much. Plus, the comments. Nobody wants to see me cry, but that's what's going to happen if I show up at church pregnant, still. I might go on Friday. I might not. Whatever I decide, I'll return all the earlier after the baby is born.

Which, by the way (are you listening, Universe??), can be any time. I'm just sayin'.

10 comments:

Kathy Haynie said...

The navy blue/polka dot is very elegant.

I remember going to church one time at about this point in a pregnancy. My feet were so swollen that none of my shoes fit. I ended up wearing my husband's flipflops, and I felt so embarrassed/ashamed. This was before flipflops became so popular. Ugh. My feet probably didn't look so bad, but I still remember how I felt. Too bad it didn't occur to me to just stay home!

Glenda The Good said...

I vote stay home, especially since you can watch your ward online ;-) Kathy I remember a Sunday when my very swollen friend wore flip flops and some older women in the front started going off on how young women have no respect, they don't wear nylons, they wear jean skirts, they wear (heaven forbid) flip flops. My friend started to cry. It was that day I was like better to never make comments, then comments that hurt others.

Myrna said...

I am so glad that you are content to stay pregnant as long as possible, despite the uncomfortableness of it all. One thing I learned from Nancy's NICU experience: keep the bun in the oven if you can! It is so worth it to have a healthy, well-done baby!

Nancy said...

WAY better in than out! :) Until 41 one weeks...

My friend was just induced on Tuesday (overdue). She was so humiliated to come to church on Sunday. She didn't even come to primary (she's the president). She came in and said, "Guys. I don't want to be here. I wasn't planning on being here. I just want to sit down and do nothing so I am going to Sunday School and Relief Society. Can you handle things?"

We weren't planning on her being there, either (none of her other kids had been overdue) so it wasn't a big deal.

What was funny was at the clothing swap thing I held just a couple of weeks ago she was sifting through the women's clothes and came across a maternity shirt she liked. "Should I get this?" she asked. "I don't know. It's kind of dumb to get something and only wear it once or twice before you don't need it anymore."

I told her to get it. That's the lamest part about getting so big at the end—when you're stuck with ONE (or, in reality, none) outfit that looks decent. She got it (because it's FREE and then you can just give it away) and ended up wearing it and was so happy to just have another shirt that covered her ever-growing belly.

Anyway, I'll stop talking about other people being pregnant now. Keep that baby in until it's (he, right?) ready. It's so worth it!

Jen said...

I HAD TO WEAR MY HUSBAND'S FLIP FLOPS TO CHURCH (and everywhere else), TOO! It was the last 2 weeks of a difficult pregnancy...and it was January....in Boston. But flip flops it was! I still get a little pit in my stomach when I think about how demoralizing it was to spend 3 hours trying to hide my feet with the hem of my skirt.

Jenn Ridgeway said...

As a non-LDS reader, I'm perplexed by the discussion of shame regarding going to church too pregnant. Are flip flops that verboten? Similarly, it sounds like it's also frowned upon not to attend? This must come down to a cultural difference. The Presbyterian Church I attend would a) not even blink at a woman wearing flip flops and b) wouldn't expect to see me there really really pregnant. Of course, it's California, so that contributes a lot to the religious culture as well.

Bridget said...

I can only speak for myself - at this late stage in the pregnancy, the reason I feel compelled to attend church is that I'm in charge of the children's organization ("Primary President" is what we call it) so I am on-duty for two hours every week. If I plan to miss church, I have to make half a dozen phone calls to make sure everything will go smoothly in my absence. 99% of the time, it's just easier to go to church, you know?

If I did not have major responsibilities at church every week, I would probably have already started my baby sabbatical a few weeks ago.

Liz Johnson said...

Uggghhhh. When I was a week overdue with Connor (on a Sunday), I literally had nothing that fit. I could either wear Chris' Weezer sweatshirt to church, or stay home. I stayed home. It was much better. Then I didn't have to deal with the sympathetic glances and the kind words - I was far too angry to even accept the positive references to my ever-pregnant state, let alone the negative ones.

Glenda The Good said...

Jenn we are heavily encouraged to go each week and since all the classes are run by us the volunteers if we don't show up we have to find someone to cover for us. If you live in an area where there are few members that can be particularly stressful. As for attendance no one insist you be there every week, but they do take attendance and within our culture we talk about "active" and "inactive or less active people"...although we've been asked not to make these distinctions. Many of us who are "active" feel stong pressure to continue so. For example, I have four children and a husband who works 80+ hour weeks including almost all weekends. A few months ago I had reached my breaking point with my young children. I was so stressed and angry and it lasted all Sunday and into Monday. I petitioned my Facebook friends with my plight and most of them encouraged me to just push forward, telling me that if I didn't show my kids church mattered how would they learn it (this included family members, friends, and ward members and I felt the pressure!). But I was miserable and I had a sister who told me to take a break, and so this summer I did. While I still went to the second two hours of church, any Sunday my husband couldn't be there which ended up being all but one, I did not go to the first hour where I alone would be in charge of my four wiggling kids. It was a glorious relief and it helped relieve some of the anxiety I was feeling and I had several people come to me and tell me they understood what I was doing and supported me. But in general we are encouraged to attend all are meetings and when it came to a public discussion on this no one was willing to vocally support me in not making all my meetings. So strong social pressure!!! Also we are encourage to wear our "Sunday best" and there are a lot of people who feel very strongly about what that means. We are very old school in a lot of ways.

Rob and Sara said...

Oh the lack of sleep, heartburn, and joint pain - funny how I had all that only 10 months ago yet block it from my memory unless forced to think about it. That must happen so we somehow convince ourselves that we can/should go through it again! I feel for ya! Praying he'll come out when he's ready and that you can endure the (hopefully short) time until he does!

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