Friday, October 24, 2014

October 24th, outsourced

An A to Z of Noah Webster's finest forgotten words. [HT Kaylee]

When a woman conceals the first trimester of pregnancy, who is she trying to protect? I have Feelings about this one. I don't disagree with anything the author says in her article, but personally, I don't like being pregnant and I don't like it being anyone's business but mine for as long as possible.

This Last Week Tonight video has the usual sprinklings of profanity (f-bombs are bleeped; s-bombs are not), but I think it's worth a watch (if you can't bear it, there was a (IIRC) profanity-free This American Life episode about the same issue a few years ago: this one). Oh, the issue is native battlefield interpreters in Iraq and Afghanistan risking their lives to help US troops, and then being denied entry to the US even when their lives are threatened for their trouble.

I hope to re-read this article about fathers' relationships with their daughters during their growing-up years. It has a lot to think about and discuss.


Amira said...

I didn't feel shame when I had to tell people I'd miscarried the first time. I was annoyed that some people who weren't supposed to know had found out and so I had to tell them I'd miscarried. I HATED dealing with the people.

No one knew I was pregnant until *I* was ready to tell them after that and I never regretted it when I had more miscarriages. And I didn't regret it when no one knew I was pregnant with my last son until I was a long way into that pregnancy. It was my choice. I'm fine with talking about the miscarriages now, and I do, but I really didn't want to deal with people when they were happening.

Tell people when you want to tell them. But don't try to convince me that I ought to tell people earlier anymore than that I ought to wait to tell people. Let me choose.

Jen said...

John Oliver is a genius. He can be a profane genius, yes. But he's brilliant, none the less. Did you see his commentary about the Miss America pageant?

The summer he took over for Jon Stewart was bliss.

Liz Johnson said...

Anybody who tells somebody that there's a "right" time to talk about a pregnancy or whatever is wrong. Could we please stop making the decisions of pregnant women for them and let them make them for themselves?! Gah! I swear, there is never more invasion of privacy and/or exercising control over a woman's body than during pregnancy. For crying out loud. Tell people when you want, or don't, or whatever. Yes, there should be less stigma about miscarriage and telling people early, but even if it were something we regularly talked about, some people still wouldn't want to open up. It's ok to not want to talk about these things. GAAHHHH.

Sorry for the rant. I get angry about this kind o' thing.

Bridget said...

Yes, I saw the Miss America one and it was the best. Jeremy and I still quote it to each other.

See, that is one of the reasons I *don't* like announcing pregnancies early - once I do, I am subject to the invasions of privacy Liz mentioned! But I am all in favor of people telling early if they want to. Let's all be friends.

Jennifer said...

Regarding the pregnancy article, I think she got a lot of things right, except I don't think the feeling women are trying to avoid is the "shame" of losing a pregnancy but rather avoiding having to share their grief with everyone.

I think a very wise way to look at the situation is to look at those who have lost a pregnancy after announcing it early on. This happened to two friends of mine. Both announced their third pregnancies before 8 weeks (ok, well one of them was outed by her 4 year old in Testimony meeting). Both then miscarried a few weeks later. When they got pregnant again, one of them very soon, the other a few years later, they both chose not to announce until much later in the pregnancy. I think that is telling about the experience they had previously had.

I had a miscarriage a couple of months ago. I was only 8 weeks, but I was so glad I had a very close circle of people (parents, sisters) who knew I was pregnant so that I had the support I needed at the moment. But I was relieved that one else know because it was a personal time of grieving. Anyway, I guess I agree with the other comments. Do whatever feels right to you!!


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